Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

Work Life Balance

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

Today I plan to start my week on time every day, not early. I never have a problem with being late but I have a major problem with being too early.
On my desk at work, there are two sayings:

“Nothing can’t wait till tomorrow”
“All work and no play make Mark a dull boy”

Work is currently the most important thing in my life and this has not worked out for my mental health. So this week I am due to work 33:35hrs – due to taking a half day for working Saturday – and work 33:35hrs I will. I don’t think it will cure the anxiety and other issues my brain is going through at the moment but it will help. Work was a good escape and then it just builds which will eventually explode, for me in random vague posts about minor issues because I’m not good at confronting people about things that piss me off… unless its work related.

I’m also not speaking to my mother at the moment. I actually think this is going to help with my sanity for a while. Give her a week to cool off.

Speaking of health, I watched Bruce Lee – Way of the Dragon on the weekend after borrowing my brother’s commemorative box set which means there will be more awesomeness (5 more movies to watch). It was way better than I thought and I posted a link on my facebook page of the final fight between Lee and Norris. Afterwards I felt really energised after seeing Bruce Lee in all his awesomeness and ended up doing some excercise. Strange motivation but if it works then sweet.
I also finally got round to buying Enemy At The Gates. It is also super awesome except for the first 15minutes that make me want to play the original Call of Duty.

Also, Long Live Zero – Minuit is currently the song I am playing over and over again. The awesome thing about flat awesome is if my flatmates are in the lounge playing on the computer/reading/watching TV in the lounge, I can close my room door and listen my music excessively loudly without causing any disruption. This is WIN!

I am a passing fad

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Well that’s not entirely true.

To begin this blog on the right track, I’m going to do what I’ve gotten quite use to since starting my short-term new job and look up the definition:

Dictionary.com says:–noun
a temporary fashion, notion, manner of conduct, etc., esp. one followed enthusiastically by a group.

Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Kung Fu shoes.

To highlight the difference, Christopher Nolan’s film making goodness, I do not consider one of these.

He first struck the mainstream movie scene with Memento, a film about a man who didn’t remember stuff too good. Supposedly his second film, The Following, is also fantastic if not quite hard to find in most stores. Memento was like this for me (hard to find) except for 3 days ago and now I has it meaning I now own all of my top 5… good times.

Ben and Karen’s baby, also not a fad even if it has been concluded that he is automatically gone through the induction into TBALC (Not that TBALC is a fad. You’d have to care to leave for something to be a fair and no one cares about TBALC nor do they not care. ‘Embrace The Nothing’. I do miss Dan). He is in fact a bundle of joy who has very doting, caring parents and a big ups to them both.

My life is filled with fads.

Sometimes these fads last a short time and then suddenly come back into fashion again where as others are much more long term like World of Warcraft. I feel like I should be attending WoW-Anonymous.

“Hi I’m Kelertra, I mean I’m Mark”*supportive echo* “Hi Mark” *supportive echo*

“Hi” (Name the Simpsons Episode) “It’s been almost 3 months since I last played WoW”

*supportive applause*

“I almost slipped the other day though. I was reading the forums from my old guild of which I am a troll and they were talking about stuff ingame. I started reinstalling it… but then realised after my patience lacking from install the first expansion, I’d have to install the next one as well and patch it as well… it was just too much time”

If the same person who named the Simpsons episode from the previous reference can name the one that I’m currently thinking of due to typing that, then you need help… that or get out of my head!

I’ll post answers a) when someone correctly does guess both or b) in a timeframe not necessarily measurable due to blogging being a low priority

WoW wasn’t really a fad but more of a phase. It saw me through some really tough times which is strange to appreciate a computer game for giving me someone to talk to when I needed to.

But I digress about my days of WoW.

I’ve reached a place where it was good times like the days of Xanadu and Big Day Out 2007/Northland Roadtrip, and I know I will never be able to repeat those days… nor would I want to try.

Wellington has been awesome recently and it has also grown in it’s awesomeness. I mean there are peeps who are awesome who:

- Are now here, living and remaining awesome
- Have visited once or twice for durations of time which includes hanging out
- Are currently working here for a duration before returning home or continuing travel

It’s been great, it really has because whilst I have made new friends and enjoy seeing them, I still enjoy the familiar. I know this sentiment isn’t for everyone. They love meeting new people or spending less time with people who they grew up with or whatever but I’m not in that place. Each to their own and whatever makes people happy.

Currently looking for a new flat. This is actually harder than I thought but I am picky… plus I’m missing some information but that will be solved this weekend hopefully.

I’ve decided to try a new incentive creating technique and every post I make on here will have a picture of Egpyt to remind me why saving money is good (who would’ve thunk?):

I’m not often certain about many things but I am certain I want to go to Egypt and indulge in it’s awesomeness. Egypt is currently the one place in the world where the desire part and fear/apathy part of my brain don’t get into an argument.

They both want to go.

It should be noted now that whilst this is a worthy sentiment and should not detract from the fact that going is one of the things I really want to do, the picture posting is not necessarily and may not continue through other blogs.

It’s interesting how thoughts go off in tangents and then back to where you were. As you can probably tell, I don’t tend to script these things (who does?) and I tend to not review either except for when I’m re-reading after already hitting the ‘Publish’ button and then I realise where the mistakes are so I have to edit them otherwise I won’t sleep… the mind is odd.

I’m not certain about a lot of things, particularly women. So uncertain that if I am to quote a friend of mine, he said:

The reason I’m saying this is to point at that it can be difficult making the leap to something more than friends for both of us. And sometimes, if you leave it too long, then friendship might just be the only thing possible because the relationship by that stage has formed and become what it is. Hard to break a friendship down to almost nothing, so that you can build a couple back from that afterwards.

I have never been the quickest off the block both literally and I guess metaphorically.

(Mind moves into a tangent of when I was 9 and was the 1 of 2 competitors in the 200m backstroke that I accidentally entered into. Lose Come Second, I did).

I only have myself to blame but I have decided it does get harder the older you get. Asking people out was easy when I was 20 & 21 then it got more difficult or I was stuck in a cycle of obsessive compulsive with my exes…

Surprisingly this area of my life has had a minor amount of activity as in me liking someone enough to eventually tell another friend that I wish “.. women weren’t attractive, at all. Not physically, not personality wise. It’s too hard”. Seriously? Wouldn’t it be easier? All the married/coupled people wouldn’t care because they’ve already found their one and all the single people wouldn’t go through the drama it is to get past the overwhelming fear of rejection or thinking “have I read that wrong?”.

I do find it distressing that I keep talking about looking for the one considering I still don’t want to get married yet I know who I’d invite. My mum bet me $100 I’d be married by the time I was 30. I would be a bit of a cunt to expect to collect. If I were to psycho-analyse this, it would be that the concept of coming home to the same person is no longer unreasonable which means that I have gotten over my commitment and betrayal issues and like other aspects of my life, I would increase my quota of certainties…
but what is certain?

I had to do a risk register and had to seriously consider what would happen if one of my team got hit by a bus. This was highlighted by a friend who had worked on projects advising that he had rated this around a 0.3 overall and then 4 days later, one of his team did get hit by a bus. No surprises, he didn’t laugh like some of us may nervously do whenever we say this, particularly those among us who are 11.

So the deal with my job is… I have no fucking idea what I’m doing… and I love every minute of it. I went in to work yesterday to talk to my sponsor completely nervous that I hadn’t done what he asked or I had done nothing and then as soon as I sat down with him, my brain went “Oh yeah, you’re awesome buddy”… he said this too. Ok, not those exact words (which whilst it would’ve been pretty cool to quote that officially, would’ve also been incredibly odd) but “I’m pleased. You’re doing good work” is always a nice.

For Pony!

I just had a really great day…

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

… is it sad that it was work?

I’ve been asking myself this very question for quite a while because there is fine balance between “Yes” and “No”. So I’m going to talk about these:

“Yes”
It can be considered sad because there is a large part of me that wants to spend time at work more than going out and socialising. I am boardering on being a work-a-holic and I work for a company that heavily promotes work-life balance.
Yesterday, being Waitangi Day I went in to work. I don’t have after hours access and so resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t destined to get the work done that I wanted. I consoled myself with a movie. Amanda Crew… gigdy.
The other argument towards this is that I have no sense of self management and I am disorganised so I have to go in and make up the time… this is partly actually true.

“No”
It’s really cool that I can sit here and tell you I love my job.  I love what I do and not only because I love the city I live in, that it isn’t what I was doing before hand but without a doubt certainty I love my job. Yeah, managing people can piss people off but when you actually do something or you come up with a better way of doing something or someone just gets it… god it’s satisfying. Knowing that you’ve gone above and beyond but for the right reasons, not to brown nose or get brownie points but because you genuinely want to is… it’s just fucking awesome.

So why would I leave? Why would I give it up to try something else?
I don’t have the largest amount of self confidence. There were several times when I would put on the face that was required and I will admit that over time, my self confidence is probably less so than normal. I struggle to meet new people because I’m just not into what most people are and I find internet dating not an avenue I am too keen on venturing towards.
My job is one of the few things where I can sit in front of you and tell you “I’m actually quite good at it” and mean it. I have people, including high end managers, who believe in me and my abilities which is a blessing – props – and a curse – holy crap, the pressure – at the same time.

If you’re not on facebook then I say facebook fail to you but I’ll talk about that soon. On facebook, you have a status and a while back my facebook status was “… is waiting”. A person asked the question as to what I was waiting for and I was not in a position to say… now I am.
When I joined the organisation I realised there was a huge window of opportunity to be had and so have made sacrifices as most people to get what I want (moved to Auckland for example). I have been quite selfish in doing this but I can look back on it and say that it was worth it. I used my time to make an impression and that impression has stuck.

2 days ago, I was recommended to the senior management to take on a project because I was said to have “great analytical and people skills”. The project, which I can’t disclose any detail about, is EXACTLY what I’ve been looking for since I joined the organisation. A real chance to make my mark (sometimes I hate my name) and make a difference. This is make or break time baby… and fuck I can’t wait.

The other reason I am having a great day is because I’m listening to some fantastic music and have also been advised of some great music. Thievery Corporation, Dave Matthews Band, Death Cab For Cutie (now I can see why people rave about them), Snow Patrol, Fall Out Boy, and Bedouin Soundclash (who I’m going to see live soon) to name a few. So very vey very good.

… and to end, the facebook thing. I hate applications that make me invite poeple. I hate people sending my applications. I hate disclosing private details on the interwebs, I don’t see why people who don’t know me should know that shit about me and why people who do know me need to go to the interweb to find it out >.<
That said, facebook is great me remembering email addresses because I don’t. I send you a message on facebook, you get a notification saying “… has sent you a message” in your email, you log on to facebook, there is your message. It reminds me when your birthday is so that I can actually say “Happy Birthday” on the day rather than sucking it down and forgetting (Moob, I suck. I realised this about 3 days ago, 1 month too late). It helps me organise a posse to go to the Beer Festival when it’s in Wellington.
I love facebook because most of my friends are on it and I get to keep in touch with them even if in a lazy way.
I can contact them whenever I want, live vicariously through their photos and have other countries promoted to me which makes me want to visit them not only because they look great but because people I like are in them.

Pfft to facebook, you say? Have you actually sat down and tried it?

I think I just closed the door when opportunity knocked…

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

So I got a call today from my former manager in Auckland who advised me they were looking for a project manager. To make a long story short, I was asked if I was interested and then it went all the way to a conversation today with my current manager.
I’m not going to go into the politics of the whole deal but I think he was basically saying to me that if I wanted it, it was mine… and now I kind of wish I had said I was really interested but knowing me I’ll wake up tomorrow sound in my own decision only to wake up in the middle of the week and go “Damn” and this cycle will continue for a while.

However, my current role is getting better by the day and to say I would’ve been thrown in the deep end would be an understatement… and I mean that in the sense that I would be well under the surface wondering wtf I had done for a very long time.

Nice for the ego though :)

I was going to write a post previously called ‘F Yeah” and describe the things in this world I am currently enjoying that start with F but instead, here’s a list:

  • Flight of the Conchords on DVD replayed
  • Firefly on DVD replayed
  • Friends (not the TV series) and Family
  • Facebook (but on a simplistic level)
  • Fallout 3
  • Fitness, in my case an increase of
  • Fatness,  in my case a reduction of
  • Film trailers (Thanks Apple)
  • Feeling fucking fantastic

I must say I am on a current high. Added to the list  but not starting with F is:

How’s everything with you at the moment?

Once again…

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Teh Street has referred to us to the occasional gold he comes up with. There are a lot of pointless t-shirts I could buy. Here are a few of the ones I am actually looking at buying… yes, to wear in public:

http://store.badtshirts.com/areorfomet.html
http://store.badtshirts.com/noremyblt.html

and of course, the point in the blog

http://store.badtshirts.com/imbiginjat.html

Everything starts with a good idea

Monday, September 29th, 2008

Anyone got one?I actually feel like I should do something with this place and I am thinking that thing has got to be quite impersonal. I’m almost thinking about something along the lines of data manipulation of some kind but what is the question.

Also, to answer Cardinal’s comment, the Force Unleashed is not the greatest Star Wars game I’ve ever played. KotOR, KotOR2, or Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy are much better. The biggest reason I love Star Wars is the concept of a lightsabre. The force is cool but not as cool as a bit of hack and slash, and I like the way you can extend it from the handle. FU offers me none of these. Yeah, sure my guy has a lightsabre but it’s easier to just pick people up and throw them out of the way which after 2 hours of gameplay is less fun than you might think.

Fringe is a great show. You should watch it if you’re not already. Don’t let the fact that it stars Pacey (Joshua Jackson) put you off… in fact, he was probably the best character on Dawson’s Creek. Kaie Holmes was the hottest until she got struck with the crazy stick… or at least that’s what Woman’s Day tells us which must be true.

Heroes and House M.D. are back. The latter makes me very happy. The former made me less happy until I talked about it with a mate from work. To keep up with general themes of this blog, Hayden is the hottest person on that show.

I’m going to work now. But I need to change something. Maybe it’s this place. Maybe it’s something else.

Just a quick note

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

Force Unleashed… meh.

“We are not nice people”

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

I now understand what my friends who said this to me meant. They are nice people. I enjoy seeing them. Overall at my funeral, people will remember me for being a nice person.

but there are times when we can be complete cunts.

Expectations high

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

If Prince of Persia is as crap as Hitman was then I lose all faith in computer games to movies. It’s 99% bad the other way round anyway…

This is for Ben… and any other Star Wars geek who has high expectations for the Force Unleashed.

941517118102

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Coming soon: Why I believe this number is significant to my life